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Stepping back , YES or NO ?
I’ve been with him for just over a year. I’m a runner by nature. As in,
when things start to get serious, when they start to feel permanent, I leave the man I am with. This is one is pretty much perfect. Kind, considerate, handsome, affectionate, generous, head over heels in love with me. So in love with me, that it scares me. How can he get so invested? I am down to earth, practical, a career first kind of girl. I wanted to build my life around a place, a job, a career. Once all that was settled, I figured I would meet someone and fall in love and maybe even settle down. But love happened first. And now I am unsure whether to keep it. Unsure because the longer I am with him, the more in love with me he is, and all the while I am not sure if I will stay here. Maybe I’ll travel, maybe I’ll go to grad school, maybe I’ll take a job across the continent or even the world. I am unsure if he fits into those plans or not. And because I’m afraid, because he is blameless, I have started picking little fights, being stand-offish, because I’m too cowardly to be the bad guy. But I can’t push him away like the others, he sees through it, and holds tight (maybe) . It fills me with happiness and breaks my heart all at the same time. So to the people that are like me, and run away when they get scared of the intensity of their feelings or the feelings of the one they’re with, what do I do? Did you regret running away? Or was it better for you in the long run, and less hurtful to the person you left? To the people that got left behind, do you wish he or she had stayed? Or was leaving you the best thing they ever did for you in the end? I just want to put it out there that it’s not that I feel I don’t deserve to be loved. I’m just not sure if this is the time or place to be in so deep.. It’s frightening, but thrilling. But can you love too much?
am I making the right decision ?
scared,
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