Atelophobia
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Assalamualaikum!  People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Let your faith be bigger than your fears. I pour my heart and thoughts here Pardon my words Tagboard
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Decided To ...  I’ve decided I’m going to concentrate on myself. What I want, what I need, what I feel. I need to figure out my own direction in life, my real interests, and what makes me happy. I can’t live off what I think I need, especially if I’m going to look for it from other people. I need a sense of my own self-satisfaction. I need confidence in myself. I like art, I like music, and I like literature. There are no rules, only what I feel.
I’m not going to freak out over boys nor am I going to read in to
everything they say or do. I
just need me. Others’ definitions do help to create me, but they do not
define me. I am who I want to be. Everything is my own perception. I
need to stop being so paranoid about everything. People notice me a lot
less than I think, which also scares me because being the narcissist
that I am, I love being noticed for the positive. I also need to realize
that I can’t always get what I want. The Rolling Stones got it right.
Life doesn’t always turn out how you plan, but I’ve realized that I need
to just roll with the punches. There is no right path, because if there
is I’m definitely on another fucking path than the one the media and
our culture portray.
A boy won’t like me just because I want him to, nor will someone who is
just looking for an easy hookup miraculously want a
girlfriend, especially in such a scenario. Yet, I cannot become too
jaded and miss an opportunity when it pops up. I need to just worry less
about this. Of course worry is such an integral part of me. Before
college it was about all I was missing out on and really trivial issues
and loneliness. Now the issues are different but still derive from the
same sense of insecurity and lack of satisfaction. While I’m still
trying to figure what will help to fill the void in my soul, I’m going
to relax more and do things that bring me pleasure while making sure I
become a well adjusted adult.
Patience…that’s all I need. Love will happen when it does. I can’t
mistake lust or desire for love. You can’t force it or act like it’s an
accessory. I’ll just have to wait and instead focus on what I have: good
friends, fun adventures, opportunities in the greatest city in the
world and a world class education. I’ll enjoy myself in the meantime
without getting confused. It feels good to kiss, to
touch, but is that really love ? I’ll just enjoy it for what it is. I want to feel
desirable.
love,
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Hello. My name is Nabila. Most people called me Belon because my real name is way too long. Born on 6th August and nobody remember it. I find it Funny that many people dont know where my country is, which is Malaysia. but i really dont care :) well, Its hard to get up in the morning, not because I'm still sleepy, its just that I'm not looking forward to anything throughout the day . but, What you want and what God wants could be two different things, you just have to trust Him because His plan is the best one possible for you ! 
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