Atelophobia
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Assalamualaikum!  People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Let your faith be bigger than your fears. I pour my heart and thoughts here Pardon my words Tagboard
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You taught me
I think the reason I can’t handle this is because I have so many regrets. If I could go back and do things over, I would change everything. From the start, I would tell you how much you meant to me. Fuck ‘clingyness’. I would be honest. I’d tell you about how much I liked your hair and your funny, awkward little laugh and your wrinkly hands and the way you’d look at me so seriously, through your lashes, and make my stomach flip flop.
What else would I redo? I’d tell you why I was sad. Why I was hurting. Why I was scared. I’d tell you about my dad. I’d tell you about how sometimes I just wanted to be alone and listen to music. I’d tell you about how terrified I was of conformity, of being weak and vulnerable.
If I could do it over, I’d realized how much you appreciated me. How you truly cared about me, not just FOR me, but ABOUT me. You cared what I had to say. You cared if I was sad or a little lost. You cared about all my weird little quirks that other guys might pretend not to notice.
I think I scared you a lot. By nature, I’m unpredictable. I change everyday. You wanted to be secure, you wanted me to tell you all those things that I never did, because deep down you knew it wasn’t the same for me.
You were a hundred percent certain I was exactly what you wanted. I wasn’t like anyone else you’d ever known. I was beautiful in a way that only chaos can be beautiful. I wished every day that I could be as certain as you were.
All those things I regret? All those things I wish I’d said? At the time, I wanted to tell you. I wanted to say everything. But I was scared, so scared. I was scared that you might think I was clingy if I told you that you made me happy. I was scared that you might think I wanted attention if I talked about my dad. I was scared to look vulnerable and immature and naive if I told you my morals.
I can’t settle for anything less now. And that’s scary, and sad, but it’s okay because one day I know that someone else will come along who will care just as much as you did. Maybe he won’t come around for years, but he’ll be here. And with him, I’ll be certain. I’ll be as sure as you were with me. He’ll change my life like I changed yours, he’ll make me see everything differently and I won’t be afraid to make mistakes with him. And then he’ll break my heart like I broke yours, and you can laugh at me if you want, I deserve it.
Thank you. I’d say that I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry. I won’t apologize for a single second we spent together. All those regrets I have, all those mistakes I made, they won’t happen the next time around.
You taught me not to be scared.
love,
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Hello. My name is Nabila. Most people called me Belon because my real name is way too long. Born on 6th August and nobody remember it. I find it Funny that many people dont know where my country is, which is Malaysia. but i really dont care :) well, Its hard to get up in the morning, not because I'm still sleepy, its just that I'm not looking forward to anything throughout the day . but, What you want and what God wants could be two different things, you just have to trust Him because His plan is the best one possible for you ! 
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