Atelophobia;

Assalamualaikum!

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel. Let your faith be bigger than your fears.
I pour my heart and thoughts here
Pardon my words

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I am, THE QUEEN .

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No more 'R'

our pen & ink romance, strung out along years and days and dreams, so hopelessly one-sided. a delicate web held together by poignant moments of reciprocity tenuous and delicious, a walk through the field reminds me of your sweet face soft voice and strong wire frame. what i have left is something missing. a box of old letters, almost no photographs, one collection of songs, and the memory of one weekend spent with you, watching the universe spin above our heads through the skylight window. trampling fields, my hand warm in your pocket, in ecstasy, and curling together to keep our heat from escaping. holding onto evasive moments of bliss that seep away as quickly as the warmth left my skin . you were my lover, but you never loved me.

dear R,

So yes, I fell for you. Not hard or head over feet, but I fell accordingly. I fell responding to the actions and signals you put out there for me to reciprocate. I'd fallen harder and more passionately and wildly before, but I was growing up and liked the comfort of what you laid down for me. But the exact hour I rested my guard down, you slipped out the floor from underneath me. For the next year, I grappled to restore my footing and create a stable foundation for myself yet again. I tried to date and date like it was the latest hipster trend just to forget you, but I cut everyone out the moment I realized I was just trying to mask the hurt I carried. So I stayed alone. There was really no point if I wouldn't give anyone their rightful chance. I think I might still be at that point, but hopefully just a little less so. For my sake at least. There's still something in me that has optimism. I mean, there must be since I decided to move 3,100 miles away. That must say something, right?

Goodbye and take care. I doubt I shall ever hear from you again, let alone see your face again. I know you moved on ages ago since, from your perspective, you didn't have much to move on from. You may even be seeing someone since you decided to stop responding to me and made up excuses on how you never received my messages. And the fact that you couldn't say goodbye to me. I think that may have broke my heart all over again. I didn't just move to a new apartment, I moved across the country and move on to another guy already, you couldn't say goodbye. one-years notice and I barely heard from you. I can't really say I expected any different. It followed perfectly the path our foundation laid out -- no proper goodbye, no closure, no nothing. The last image I have of you is walking away from me without so much as a wave. I think then I knew that it'd be the last time. It's fitting now. and please god, i don't wanna see him again !

HATE,

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No more 'R'

our pen & ink romance, strung out along years and days and dreams, so hopelessly one-sided. a delicate web held together by poignant moments of reciprocity tenuous and delicious, a walk through the field reminds me of your sweet face soft voice and strong wire frame. what i have left is something missing. a box of old letters, almost no photographs, one collection of songs, and the memory of one weekend spent with you, watching the universe spin above our heads through the skylight window. trampling fields, my hand warm in your pocket, in ecstasy, and curling together to keep our heat from escaping. holding onto evasive moments of bliss that seep away as quickly as the warmth left my skin . you were my lover, but you never loved me.

dear R,

HATE,

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