Atelophobia
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Assalamualaikum!  People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Let your faith be bigger than your fears. I pour my heart and thoughts here Pardon my words Tagboard
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Real Struggle 
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve stared at a blank page trying to write this down. How do you put something so beautiful, so complex, into words? What do you do when you’ve lived a fairy tale but didn’t get your happy ending? How will anything compare?
It sometimes feels like you are not allowed to be happy, not if you did something wrong along the way. Like you have to be punished for whatever mistake you made. Which is troublesome if you don’t consider what you did a mistake. It may have been bad, yes. But if you were to call it a mistake it would mean you regret it. You may regret how it happened, but not that it did.
I thought I had been in love before, but you make me question all that I once felt before simply because you have made me feel a love that is deeper and more intense. I think about you all day everyday, I don't know, is that how falling in love is like? I love this feeling that is in me but it takes me from laughter to tears in minutes because you don't feel the same way.
It is difficult knowing that we do love each other and work well together, but love is just not enough in this case. It's only been a week since the break up, and I am finding some days a real struggle.
How do you prepare yourself for the worst heartbreak ever? I'm sitting here counting down the days until my heart rips in two. I know I did this to myself, by living in the same city as him soon and letting myself fall deeper and deeper into love, but its still going to be the hardest, most impossible thing to get over him.
But the real issue is I don't want to get over him, I don't want to be with anyone else, but who knows when we will ever be in the same city. I'm trying to be realistic and accept the fact that it simply won't work, but at the same time I think to myself, if it was worth it to take the risk.
I'm so scared. I am scared of breaking down crying the minute I see you. I am scared of even making the decision of whether or not I want to see you at all. And I scared of the answer I will get from you. Because after everything that has happened I still want you. I want the rest of the story, I want the whole fucking book. I want Us, the Us that I fell in love with.
And now I'm at this crossroads and I don't know where to go from here. Our time together is quickly coming to and end and I have no idea what to do.
I guess only time will tell, but that's the worst part of it all, not knowing, and letting the pieces fall where they may.
love,
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Hello. My name is Nabila. Most people called me Belon because my real name is way too long. Born on 6th August and nobody remember it. I find it Funny that many people dont know where my country is, which is Malaysia. but i really dont care :) well, Its hard to get up in the morning, not because I'm still sleepy, its just that I'm not looking forward to anything throughout the day . but, What you want and what God wants could be two different things, you just have to trust Him because His plan is the best one possible for you ! 
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